The usual rambling


Okay this is going to be a useless and pointless post. Perhaps I will delete it in the future — who knows. But for now, I am just gonna keep this.

*deep breath*

So you know how I have been living far away from my hometown for almost half of my life now? My life has been a series of moving houses, jobs, and countries. I knew what I was going into when I signed that contract with my scholarship. I knew what I was going into when I said yes to my husband when he ‘proposed’ to me 18 years ago — that he wants to see the world. He wants to know what’s out there. And it means that I might never settle until we are done — whatever the definition of ‘done’ is.

Part of me wanted the same thing.

Until the past few years, when I saw how my old friends had their weddings, children, meet ups with so many familiar faces.

It hit me hard.

While I have gotten so many new experiences living abroad, I had also given up a lot of things in return.

I had missed so many of my siblings milestones. Heck, I left my house when my bro was only 5 years old — and now he’s 22. I had missed the reunions, missed the quick catch ups “hey are you in town? let’s meet up!” cause I simply had no annual leave left to stay longer, etc.

*another deep breath*

It hurts.

I know. I know people are going to say “Just cherish what you have now. Be thankful. Be grateful.

That’s what I have been doing. But I am just a human. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I falter. Sometimes I just… want to be sad.


It was nice to let it out.

Okay — I still need to do my code.


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