The year was 2002 or even early 2003. She stood there on the ground level. Her eyes peeled to a certain spot.
And then there they were. Just exited the library. He was among his friends. Laughing and smiling. She gripped her hands hard. She could feel it in her heart. It was painful.
She blinked her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t that weak. But she knew she had to go.
I could never bring those to his face.
I am not worth it.
I am not his home.
She turned around. She could feel her chess tightened. She needed to go.
—
Twenty years later.
You would think that she would laughed at how silly the whole thing was.
The reality spoke differently and everything worked out eventually.
But the truth is, she was never healed.
That heartbreak. That pain. That feeling of being unworthy.
It was never gone.
She still cries everytime that scene comes into her memories.
She still feels the pang in her heart.
And at the very least, she would feel numb. Not believing that she was good enough.
