I can never let you go

Seira sat there — cross legged. It’s about time she started her job as a BBQ coordinator for this alumni party. But she was too lazy to even get up. She even questioned why did she come at the first place.

Don’t you have better things to do, Seira?

I do

Seira chuckled. Felt weird to be here after years — seeing those once familiar faces popping up and saying hello. It felt like time hadn’t passed but indeed it had.

The people that she once called closest friends. The ones that she was crying over. And the ones that faded away.


Seira froze. She knew this voice.

She turned around and found the face that she desperately wanted to avoid. Not because of hate. Simply because she didn’t want to cause another pain.

“Oh. Hey.”

He smiled and sat beside Seira. Took his distance. Seira noticed that.

“How are you, Sei?”

“Fine. How about you?”

“Okay. I guess.”


“I didn’t think you were coming. Didn’t see your name in the list.”

“Oh. Last minute decision.”

“That was really last minute.”

“I saw your name so I decided to come.”

Seira fell silent again.


Seira looked at him straight on the eyes.

“You do know why I come.”

“Honestly — I don’t.”

“Are you really that heartless?”

“Heartless is keep sending me texts and emails when you have a girl standing beside you and understanding everything about you, Ren.”

“Oh. You know about her.”

“Yes, I do. And she texted me not out of jealousy. But because she cares about you.”

“How so?”

“She asked me to not hurt you. And frankly, that is the only reason I am still talking to you now.”

Airen fell silent.

“Stop with all the texts, Ren.”

“I can’t.”

“I was never yours to begin with. There were never us.”

“I can’t.”

“Then I am sorry. I will have to break my promise to her. I need to go from your life.”

“I wish I could just letting you go.”

“You can. You just don’t want to.”

“Well I am sorry that I have a freedom to do that.”

“Freedom is not only about doing what you please, Ren. Freedom is also about taking responsibility. In this case, of the heart that you keep breaking.”

Airen fell silent. Seira continued, “Fine. You want to keep texting me? Go on. Just know that I will not ever reply those. That’s my freedom as well.”

Seira turned around. She needed to grill those meat — a hoard of hungry people would soon looking for their share.

“Do you know this is why I love you?”

Seira didn’t answer.

“You always think about the people around you. And yet you always want to do everything right — even though it means hurting others. You are that confusing, Seira. I like that about you.”

“You are so weird.”


Seira flipped the grilled meat. She almost burnt them.

“I know about Nadia, okay?” Airen continued. “I am sorry for her, I didn’t want to hurt her, but she knew about this, and she chose to stay. She chose to wait.”

“For now, I just can’t let you go.”

Seira closed her eyes while Airen walked away.

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